Why movies are great

~this again, was written over a month ago, but still very very relevant~

6 June 2011

Why movies are wonderful

I have realized it is probably a good thing that I do not have electricity in my room, because then I would never have to turn my computer off to charge it. 

I never used to be a TV or movie person, two hours was just always too much of a commitment when I was busy or just really didn’t like sitting doing nothing. Movies always have something bad that happens, and even when there is a happy ending, those 20 minutes of wondering if the person will live or couple get back together was just too much for me.

Then, I moved to South Africa. 

I sit in the office from 8-4 listening to a language I do not understand. Very little is explained to me, but why would it be important for me to know a missionary group is coming or the department is doing checks today? I pretty much am always “in the darkness” as the financial manager describes me. Sometimes I know the people around me are talking about me, but I have no clue what about. I have gotten pretty good at figuring out when the yelling is in anger or excitement. When the slaps are out of love or hate- or just simple dominance. But still, it’s a lot of hours not knowing what the hell is going on.

After work I usually run, or if my stomach is not cooperating I just lay in my room. When I run it is more laughter, usually at me but whatever. Kids follow me and I have a grand ol time with them. But it is another hour of not understanding what people are saying and all eyes on me. 

When I am at my home it is me, the old man, and the 4 dogs. I have a better chance of having a conversation with the dogs than the old man. I have a lot of time to think, and talk to myself, a lot. 

Then it is either read or a movie. These are better options than actually talking to someone- as internet and airtime was cut in my budget when congress cut ours. I got a bunch of movies from another PCV that are now waiting for me on my external hard drive every night. Really any movie that is in English will do the trick. It is 2 hours of not thinking about anything important, understanding the language, and no attention on me. 2 hours lost in a completely different world, which will most likely have a happy ending.  Who knows, by the time this two years is up maybe I’ll catch up on all those movies that people are generally disgusted that I haven’t seen. Or I will just watch ‘Beauty and the Beast’ ‘Overboard’ and ‘Rent’ 600 times in the next two years.

This is very, very outdated. My bad

These are blurbs i wrote at work and never posted, my brother kindly reminded me i have been absent from my blogging! Another actual update is to come soon.

23 May 2011

Well, the CNA (community needs assessment) is not going how we all talk about it hypothetically in class. Thanks for the preparation, GH2 & Peace Corps. Ugh. O well, I am concentrating more now on the org I work for so I know what I might potentially be doing. I have a lot of potential thoughts and ideas, so that’s super duper.

I recently met a couple students (excuse me, I mean, learners) at the secondary school that were pretty sweet. I was interviewing them about the community/school and all that jazz and asked why there were no youth/mentoring groups or any clubs or anything. We talked about it for a little bit, then all of a sudden the one guy was like “wait, why are you asking?” I explained some of my ideas about working with the school and again what my role is and he was pretty stoked- he started talking about how he was once in prison but got his act together and now hopes to graduate next year and he would love to try and help the youth and all that jazz. I then realized they are older than what I thought someone in 11^th grade would be, have been through a lot- and both very passionate about helping the community- score for me!

We did some fun gardening last week, which I enjoyed very much. I loved being outside- too bad I was unaware of these gardening plans until we started working…wrong day for a silk-ish blouse! Ha! By 10AM I was already covered in sweat, fell in a bush, and the project manager had to pick thorns outta my ass. It was pretty humorous! To try and make our fence more secure we went searching for aloe plants, and dragged them back to our place. Ha, the thorns that will keep predators away also cut up my arms nicely. BUT they for some reason think I am fragile and whenever I do something they think I am incapable- so I of course had something to prove.  Fun stuff. Then we ate bagobe for lunch, and I got a wicked stomach ache. Come to think of it, I’ve had a stomach ache for four months.

I am getting really good at Minesweeper. I am a beast, really.

I read ‘Long Walk to Freedom’ in less than 3 weeks (all while also sleep > 8 hr/night). I clearly did not rack up enough miles last week. What can I say, it was a real page turner- all 600+ of them. I really do recommend it to everyone! I know that the history of South Africa is not exactly common knowledge, and I have done a half ass job of explaining certain important aspects, but really, read the book. Nelson Mandela is the bomb diggity. 

All my friends are graduating and getting jobs. In what world does it make sense that I have friends who are doctors, nurses, and a lawyer? Weird. 

<as an update, my CNA is done, and i actually think i did an ok job on it>

5 June 2011

Sup, world. Howzit? Sharp? Great.

This past week was pretty interesting. Monday I was not well, I puked in front of the old man on the way to the latrine. I was better mid-day, which is pretty typical. I have been having some other GI issues, but I’ll be fine. I’ll prob suck up my pride at call medical soon. Mom- don’t worry. I am fine.

I got amazing packages this weekend. All I’ve done today is watch movies I got from Cate read Time magazine, read about Natalie’s life (amazing), and eat junk food. Sorry, church, I just couldn’t do it today. Anyway, nothing but love for coop (Natalie) and my momma. Thanks a ton.

Oh, last weekend Cate E and I were on a taxi to Polokwane, I don’t really feel like writing about the whole epic experience but I will talk about the taxi. So, the rank we got off is pretty gnarly. You gotta have your ‘Don’t F with me face’ on and walk fast. Well, a nice young gentleman was being a pain in our asses,  let me set the scene: So we are obviously targets for ppl wanting to ‘help’ us, b/c ya know, we glow, but it’s just really annoying and many times the people are very pushy. So he is standing inside the taxi at the door and says:

Man: “Hey where are you going….blah blah”

Cate: “no where, we got it”

Man: “blah blah pushy pushy blah…HEY Lekgowa”

Cate: (as she is passing by him with me behind her) DON’T call me white person. (exits)

Me: (as I pass by) “and its MAkgowa” then I step down

…E quickly exits…

This was obviously followed by laughter. Oh, and makgowa makes it plural. This story doesn’t do it justice. Eish.

<update- my stomach is better>

RUN, LEKGOWA, RUN!!!

Had some pretty epic runs the last two days, unfortunately, in both sense of the word. But let me stay censored and positive. 

Yesterday I was not excited about going for a run, and was thinking about how it has changed. I think most of my favorite runs have been in Florida. Running to the sun rise on Bayshore was always great, even with the tunnel that smelled of piss and corndogs and the sometimes gross smell of the water- I loved it. Especially the Gaspirilla Pirate Ship, I always was say something about “Grrrr I shall find my booty” when passing it. Other favorite runs were of course any race I did, and nothing will ever top Ragnar, Miami --> Key West. Even though I was recovering from the flu and the seven mile bridge was the bane of my existence, it was epic. 

Running was always my time. I would drown out my stress with some horrible dance/rap music and run for miles not thinking about anything that mattered. Honestly, I usually would day dream about ridiculous things- sometimes completely fictional fantasies and other times, a lot actually, would think about Peace Corps. Wondering where I was going, and then later worried about my rejection and medical holds. I thought about what it would be like, what continent I would be on and what language I would speak. I dreamed up the programs I would start and relationships I would form. 

Now that I am struggling to communicate and working on a needs assessment that is much easier in theory, my runs are much less stress relieving as they are stressful. I think I have finally figured out the streets to avoid because of Taverns and Shebeens, but now am facing my fan clubs and jokes. 

Yesterday’s run was so cliché ‘PC’ it was cheesy. If only there was a camera I would be plastered on a billboard with the slogan “Never have to say ‘I should’ve’” My glowing Lekgowa-ness would radiate on the 17 little South African children giggling and following me. 

As I approached my usual spot where I turn I heard “LEKGOWA” which is normal, but this time saw a crowd of children running at me like I was Angelina Jolie and Madonna all rolled up into one miracle worker. One little toddler had a stick. It was scary. 

The kids ran with me for a couple minutes-I slowed down to try and entertain them for a bit, and as I could hear the toddler with the stick wheezing I had the realization I might kill this little pot licker so i stopped. Some of the laggards caught up and I did some stretching with them, jumping jacks, and other random stuff. I told them I was going to keep running, combining my little Tsonga and Sepedi, and instead of them leaving they continued with me. We ran a total of 1.5 miles together, it took forever. I kept stopping for the little ones, sometimes carry a couple at a time. I tried talking to them and got some of their names. We laughed, me out of nerves and confusion, then at me. The sun was setting so I tried telling them they needed to go home, so I ran in the direction where they met me- and told them to stay. Actually I think I said sit, but whatever. 

Anyway. It was fun, I enjoyed being around humans as after work I am always by myself, but I thought about how much my runs have changed. My 1 to 2 hours of alone time I enjoyed so much in Tampa is now my time of constant attention, drunks trying to run with me, constantly calculating where to go to avoid masses just to find a pop up Shebeen I have to go around, and having to greet everyone.  A lot of “where are you going?” “why are you running” but mostly laughs and me ignoring the not so funny ones . Oh, and I can’t forget the cows. Oh the cows. I do find myself laughing, a lot, during my runs!

I love the kids, the ones that are used to me know I will high five them- so I often have lines of cheerleaders with their little sticky palms out- giggling as I say ‘Thobela’ and slap all the hands. 

I guess it’s ok that running is no longer my mental time, as that is now pretty much every other waking minute. If I am not running and not at work I am alone so I have plenty of time with my cluttered mind space. 

I have to admit it is hard to get out of the door sometimes, knowing all eyes are on me. Today I went a new route and was happy to not have kids follow me for more than 3 minutes- I enjoy my Lekgowa Kitima clubs, but I really wanted to get in a good workout. I also very much enjoy seeing the progress of people knowing my name, and gogo’s not looking so shocked to see me, but rather pleased to greet me.

I miss wearing my running shorts and listening to my iPod, but the sunsets I see over the mountains and laughs I share I guess trump that. I also love the rough terrain to change things up a bit. Today’s new route had its pros and cons, but the sunset was especially amazing.

The area I am in is so small and sun setting earlier everyday so I find it difficult to get a long run in, but soon I’ll figure it out.

For now, I’ll be proud of my 3 miles, and call the days where I don’t go too far b/c of my Lekgowa Kitima fan club ‘integration’.

If rhymes were a drug, I'd sell em by the gram

I would like to give a shout out to Mr. Garfield- don’t worry I’m taking wonderful care of your daughter.

I have had a lot of time to evaluate my music selection. I am a little disappointed in myself. Much of my music got corrupted, and more is on my laptop that I don’t use because it needs a power source- so I am left with only my iPod. It does not have nearly enough Elton John or 2Pac- this got me thinking. I think Elton and 2Pac would have been great together. The little stunt with Elton and Eminem was overrated, but I think Elton and 2Pac could really do something good. It would rival the Aerosmith and Run DMC duo. 

This is what I think about. Epic cultural stuff. 

I started working on a remix to “You Don’t Know Me” by TI, I really don’t have to change too many words. We can call it poetry right? Hippy Peace Corps stuff-I mean, I’m wearing my birks while doing it.

This all spawned after a solo dance party in my room, but my friend Samantha explained that we should call it an “exercise session” I like it, makes it sound way less pathetic. 

But really, I have been thinking how PC could make training more useful, and a couple of us were talking about it when we met in town. Cate had a great point- PCVs need to talk more about what to do when there is nothing to do. Tips like, spread your laundry out for three days, or never cook more than you need, because that means the next day making dinner does not take NEARLY long enough. I think that should be our classes contribution to PC-SA. So far other things to when you have nothing to do include learning how to fold clothes like they do in the stores and practicing how to French braid. I have found that it is important to make yourself FEEL like you’re doing something, like “man, I REALLY need know how to properly make a bed to be a good PCV, I will spend an hour doing it” or "I did NOT sweep the dirt outside well enough, I must do it again". I think maybe we should put a book together, call it, “Where there is no stimulation” and it really is NOT supposed to sound dirty. 

There have far too many holidays in this last 2 weeks, I have had one work day that was about 3 hours long. I guess I could do something productive, like study language, but dance parties are way more fun. I am trying to integrate, went to church this morning. That was 4 hours of my day, and it is kind of fun. It’s like a free concert every week. 

Hhhmm…what other PC things have I done? My run on Friday had 12 giggling children screaming ‘LEGKOWA’ so I stopped and did a little impromptu workout session with them- that was fun. Then my asthma was worse than when I was an overweight 7 year old trying to play soccer. Eish…love the air quality! 

Ok. Met my blogging quota for a while. 

This is my life. Now I will go make dinner. 

xoxo

peace

Sami aka Tinyiko, but mostly Lekgowa

Thu April 14

Well hello there, playaz.

Howzit? Thats slang. Bet ya cant guess what it means.

I starting running again this week, I ran a little during training but mainly did other stuff- so this was really the first week ive been running consistently since Ragnar-Key West. Let me tell you, there is a reason the old saying is “its like riding a bike” and not “its like running 5 miles”. Whatever. I did it. Go me. Nothing will be as bad as the hell of a bridge at high noon. F’in bridge.

Today’s run had record number of 13 kids following me at one point. I have to admit it made me smile, and the fact that when a little kid running next to asked where I was going I understood her, my response was a simply “run” in Tsonga, too bad she was speaking Sepedi. Whatever. Go me.

On Tuesday I got stuck behind a herd of cows, that was shitty, literally.

I told myself a week ago I was going to write something about my life and answer some questions some ppl have asked. But then I told myself that was overrated.

But here I am, here you are. Here we go.

I am working for an organization called Bathuseng. It is a drop in center for orphans and vulnerable children (DIC OVC) and home community based care (HCBC). So pretty much mostly orphans come after school, eat at the place, play, and I think they do other life skills and homework and stuff. If not, then maybe that’s why I am there? The HCBC has around 25 or so carers (care givers) who go around to different homes in the area, mostly ppl with HIV/AIDS, TB, mental issues, had strokes, and diabetes.

Oops, gotta go, will finish later

April 15, 2011

ok. more boring talk. 

Most carers are female, and older than me. They are mostly nice. Angie is an HCBC carer who lives near me, and is 28, she is very nice and “my friend” I am trying to help her with math so she can get her diploma and she will teach me how to live (ha) and is nice to me and speaks English so I love her. Her father has always been gone, mother and sister died in the same year. She is the next oldest so she takes care of her late sisters child, her two younger sisters, younger brother, and another child her younger sister has as a young teen. She is busy.

I have ventured out to try and befriend some other carers, I am around the OVC carers more, and they rock my world. So that is nice. They are mostly all older, and they speak more English than some of the HCBC carers, so I naturally gravitate toward them.

The staff consists of two men and two women. The founder is a middle aged female woman who I love more and more every day. The financial manager is a 27 yr old male assistant pastor who is hilarious! He is very helpful to me as well as patient. My ‘supervisor’ is a 28 yr old male who is the OVC coordinator. Yea... I think this other woman is staff, but I am confused.

It's pretty much two men in the office with me, so the dynamic is very interesting and poses certain challenged for someone like myself.

So the carers are all technically volunteers, and the gov’t gives them a stipend. So initially I thought, oh so they are like employees who get paid, right? Not at all. They get paid next to nothing! The org has a PEPFAR (form the US) grant which is great, but the place is hurting bad for money!

I really enjoy the people at the org, and the kids are adorable, semi scared of me, but I’m working on that.

As for what I do. That’s a great question.

I am living in a community (yes, it is a village, no I will not constantly call it ‘my village’) that is small, around 1300 ish, in Limpopo. They speak Sepedi which is really cool since I learned XiTsonga. I can’t remember how much of this I have already written in that rambling post from PST.

I live with an old man, madala (meaning, old man) who doesn’t speak English. Its super.

There are mountains all over, so that is wonderful.

What else? Oh, I am working on a needs assessment which is really cool, sense, ya know, it just is. Too bad the portion of PST that talked about the tools for doing a good needs assessment was somehow glazed over, but don’t worry, there is info on a jump drive we got. But I am super pumped to do it, <nerd alert> but this is the real deal- no more hypothetical mumbo jumbo in class.

What else? I got three packages from my family. I cant even describe how amazing it was. Came at the perfect time.

Today my org learned just how jumpy I am. I flipped my shit because of a grasshopper. We all laughed. Then since its Friday we all ate together. I helped cook the Pap as Kole (financial manager) tried to teach me, when we were both failing a Carer, Mokgadi, saved the day.

OH. Convo of the day:

<Mokgadi touched the pan to scrape pap off the side, its its boiling pap>

Me: OH MY GOD, how can you touch that!

Makgadi: African woman don’t burn

Me: I guess im not African, that crap is hot

Mokgadi: well, at least you got an African name

I love my life.

But anyway, we had pap and pig head. NOT PORK. Pork is meat. There is actually no meat on the pig head. The brain was really squishy and small. The eye balls are also really small. Turns out my stomach reacted the same way as it did with the chicken feet- not well. So my afternoon run turned into me not going far from the latrine. I just find it funny that the girl who wouldn’t even eat bacon is now chewing on hairy pig ear. Things that make ya go, uuuggghhhh…. My dad will be so proud.

But today when I was gardening with Kole and Jonas I had a ‘holy moly, im a PCV, this is awesome”

I wish I could describe the pure insane random stuff that goes on at my org, it’s wonderful. Always laughing…well…usually. This is really edited, but over all we laugh A LOT!

It was nice to think about the 3 years pre PC and take a second to appreciate everything! Despite GI issues, confusion, and awkwardness- i love it!

<i know some ppl will enjoy this story>
OH. So long story short- the worker at the tuck shop (convenient store-ish) that is on this compound is also my brothers girlfriend and I think they pay her to clean once a week. Oh yea, and the founder of the org is the daughter in law of the old man I live with. So she tell me the other day that Johanna will clean my room, I think its weird, but she says shell just mop. So I think, super. I get up extra early this morning to start sweeping the dirt outside and make sure my room is clean enough for her to mop. We have a lot to sweep, so when Johanna got here she was so surprised I sweept a lot and thanked me. No prob, you are about to clean my room! Least I can do! So, I think she is just gonna mop, right. Yea. So I get home from work and my shit is CLEAN. She re-made my bed (I just kind of throw the blanket on, I think making beds are completely pointless and stupid) she whipped everything down, moved everything to mop really well, redit my blinds (yea I broke something somehow) BUT what all this means…she met POLLY JULIA , PIGGLES, AND ELLY JR!!!!! yup. She sure did. I had them under my blanket, but they were front and center on the bed when i got home.

So I made some no bake cookies and took them to the tuck shop, I thanked her (yea, she gets paid but I think its weird) and we laughed about Polly Julia.

For those of you who don’t know Polly Julia, Piggles, or Elly Jr. you probably never will. (Elly jr is a little version of my Elly that my mom sent me, NO I did not bring elly!!!)

Ok. This is going nowhere. I have a lot more stories. But I think I met my rambling quota for the week.

Peace out homies!!!

Much love,

Xoxoxoxo

Sami

Aka

Tinyiko  

The Taxi

So. My taxi. Walking in the taxi rank is always an experience- its way bigger than the one for Tshamahansi <my training site> and ppl REALLY aren’t used to seeing a lagoa <white person>. After being solicited a million times for people to help me with bags and shit, and people trying to point me to the Pretoria bus <clearly that’s where they think I want to go> I finally make it to the 4 taxis for Mapela. I am not sure if there is any rhyme or reason to where the Danisani one is, but I just always ask around. If the queue marshal dude sees me he immediately takes me to the right one, (my supervisor hooked it up and talked to them) but the place was a shit show.

I finally find the right one, look on it and thought it was full. I first noticed the suitcase sitting outside of the taxi, then saw the large number of bags full of produce and Jiggys <i cant even explain rt now>. Literally there was not one place to step b/c there was so much stuff. I went to put a folding seat down, thinking that was the last spot when the Gogo’s <Gogo- granny/older woman>  informed me ‘AOWA. BACK’ I look, and although there was no way to get back there through the piles of produce I counted only three adults and one child in the back. There was no physical room for me BUT I had to do it.

<please envision me, in a long skirt that I trip over with my two HUGE bags full of lettuce milk and chocolate to last 2 weeks, it was probably funny for them to watch, or painful, not sure>

I moved some of the plastic bags under a bench, put down my really really heavy bag, climbed over everything and everyone. Turned around to where the open seat SHOULD be, but that was occupied by a Gogo butt cheek, and plopped myself down, on her.

It was actually impressive how over the first ten minutes we all gelled together and I somehow mushed between the Gogos.

I had one bag on me, but the other was too heavy for anyone to pass back and it really wouldn’t have fit on me all things considered, so it stayed in the second row under some Jiggys, hoping that no one would steal anything in it, most importantly, my chocolate.  After the last person got on the taxi the driver lifted the suitcase, shoved it somewhere, and then managed to get 4 more bags and a flippin BIKE on there. I’m pretty sure the taxi could have flipped and no one would have budged, we were packed in there like pickles.

The best part was the wedgy the Gogo smush caused, my booty was hungry, as Hill would say. Oh. The pain. As I attempted to extract the material the Gogo’s didn’t budge, I think they must have known.

I noticed the seat/bench moving, thought it was weird, but whatever. Then when we took off I notice the bench move again, and realized it was, in fact, not attached to the ground. Details I suppose.

We stop for gas, which for some reason took about fifteen minutes, then we were off the Sandloot, Maseyna, and Danisani. Luckily for me I was not the first off, so when it was my stop it was only half the shit show that getting on was.

And that, my friends, is a typical ride home from town. Magical.



Someday i might post about my work and living situation. Maybe. Until then, these stories are more fun.

Also, tonight was the first time i cooked in 10 days. I want a gold star. Oh, and today at work we had an improptu Shangan dance session- big skirts and all. ya know, the usual. 

Randoms thoughts from PST!!! Feb-March

HEY THERE BLOG! so below are some posts i wrote throughout training, i was told many times by Peace Corps that they screen these blogs, so this is my edited version of life. All in all life is good. Training is over, which is exciting and sad, and I am chllin at my perma-site. I don't feel like writing about the last couple weeks yet, but I'll get to it eventually. I am missing my fellow SA 23ers like crazy, being on my own is going to be challenging, but super pumped to start the needs assessment on monday. and my super pumped i mean 'omg i have to do a needs assessment' 

anyway- if you actually read all of this then you deserve a gold sticker for procrastination of whatever it is you should be doing, but anyway- love and miss everyone!!!!  

FEB 6

HELLO WORLD! Or I guess I should say 'MINJANI?' which means, 'how are you?' I am currently writing this on my laptop and will save it until i someday am near the world of internet. It is Feb 6 and I am in the in the village of T-something or other that means 'sit down' finsihing up the first full day at my homestay. I have already found different uses for my mosquito bed net and my britta water filter pitcher than what it is intended for, meaning I am that person that global health workers are constantly battling. But using my britta pitcher to pour water over me during my bucket bath is waaaaaaaaaaaay better than actually filtering water after the boiling thing...
<dont get scared, i am also filtering my water>
OH YEA, i got a new name. it is 'Tsakane' and it means HAPPY, be jealous. My Vamhani named me. (host mother) but hey mom, dont get jealous, i like your cooking waaaaaaay better.

My time in South Africa has been, well, intense. The slower pace of life is something I will need to get used to, and the first week of training was, well, whatever it is over. The training group is pretty rad. One lady is 78 years old, and she rocks my world. Friday was our last night all together before our homestays so we were all hanging out having a themed 'tourist/mustache' party, and we taught her how to do the 'stanky leg'. If you don't know it, well- you have internet, google it! So yea, there are 46 of us and we are all very diverse. I think there are only 2 of us with MPH, lots of different backgrounds which makes it fun. Now I am in a Shangan family where the kids laugh at me and follow me around and I sit in the front meeting a lot of random people who just wanted to 'come see the mulungu' (white person) My family is pretty rockin! There are a ton of kids everywhere, but only three are actually in this immediate family. The litte girl, Kentzie <ill check that spelling later> is adorable, she is two years and i flippin love her. She loves me too which is funny because she clinged to me right away and it took G two months! Speaking of G, i miss that little nugget!!! <and everyone else too> Anyway, this little Kentzie girl is so funny, but she is tiny-waaaaaay smaller than G.

COKE. IS. EVERYWHERE. it is easier to get coke in this joint than water. something wrong with that picture. but of course it is not called pop, it is 'cold drink'. HA and 'PAP' <pronounced pop> is what we eat. all the time. it is 'meelie meelie' <not sure about that spelling> or corn starch stuff boiled with water. it gets real thick and you put a giant pile on your plate and eat it with your hands. speaking of that, they gave us a bucket bath lesson but no lesson on how to eat without silverware, thanks peace corps. I have consumed a LOT of pap.

ANYYYWAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
 The language I will be learning is called XiTsonga <the X is pronounced as a 'she' sound, kind of like shit-songa>. There are only 6 of us learning it and it is in a way the outcast language. maybe one day i will explain it but involved a lot of Shaka Zulu history that gets involved and I am just not ready to type all that. It is also considered the 'romantic' language of africa, also spoken a little in zimbabwe and mozambique. i think.
this post is going no where. i feel like i have a lot to say, but its time for bed. so i will leave you with this:
'
Shangan man: 'i heard you come from amerika, i had to come look at you."
me : 'yup, ndzi huma eAmerica"
man: 'do you know silvester stalon?"
me: 'um. yeaaaaaaaaaaa'

aaaaaaaaaand that is all for now. more to come lateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

Feb 8

it is flipping HOT

Feb 9

still flippin hot. i want to rebel and sleep with the windows open but i think my family would see since they wake up at the butt crack of dawn, i think we have to shut them b/c of mosquitoes but whatever, its freakin hot.

things have really picked up this week. sessions are more interesting, we are working in smaller groups which makes it less painful. talking more about the culture and comparing it with the states. more about HIV, sex, drugs, and rock n roll.

my stomach is rebelling against all the pap im eating. it hates me.

let me tell you about a little run in i had with a posse of roaches at the toilet. i thought i saw some monster roaches in new orleans but those looked like ants compared to these jerks. i sprayed the crap outta of the latrine then by the time i got home from lessons it was ok. but let me set the scene for you: i am dehydrated because it's balls hot and filtering water is annoying, but decide i should pee before bed because that is just what i do. i open the door, it is around dusk-ish, not dark, and see lots of cockroaches. i decide i dont have to pee. next morning i wake up to the roosters and other random animals having a dance party on my metal roof and need to pee. i walk out to the latrine, and look at that. more cockroaches. i shine a light on them, they do NOT scatter, instead they laugh at me. i got some spray with dead bugs on the canister which i thought would be a good indication of what to use and i spray the crap outta of them. they are slowly dying, i feel bad so i want to put the ones in close proximity to me outta commission. i take one of my sandals off and while hopping around on one foot i am swatting at them. THEN more come from above, i think it was the second brigade coming to get me. have you seen Men In Black, you know the part with the giant cockroach? the part where someone kills a roach and the giant roach appears to kill, well, that is what was going through my head. i then hear laughter as i am hopping on one foot spraying spray and swatting around aimlessly with a sandal. i look, and my host sister who i see hanging out of the window laughing at me. this is when i decided to just hold my pee (cant just p outside like i would normally want to do b/c kids are all over). I used enough spray to kill a couple small children, shut the door, and hoped for the best.

all was fine when i got home, besides the dead roach bodies staring at me while squatting.
i understand this journal should be more about my life changing epic experiences, but roach stories are more fun.

yes, it has been epic. my host father is worried about me b/c he thinks im not eating enough, but he eats a ton and well, i dont.

Race relations and learning more details of the history and culture is interesting. I could go on and on about how i am a woman so i should be doing everything for the man, polygamy, the fact that blacks were institutionally segregated against for so long and the fact that i am white in this village is shocking to so many, sex is taboo even though ppl openly sleep around- but its ok, men dont get HIV, its just the women- and AIDS is not real, it is witchcraft... im rambling at this point, but it really is mind boggling.
so much of RSA's (republic of south africa) is parallel to ours. people 'discovered' it, Brits and Dutch ended up screwing everything up. there were slaves and segregation. People told where they could and could not live. However, the institutionalized government enforced separation here is crazy considering how recent it was and the fact that the minorities were oppressing the majority. It is also crazy because I am working side by side with people who know first hand what the apartheid was like. In the states we see the effects of slavery and jim crow still even though there are several generations who did not live through it. Here, most of the people literally lived through it. reading some of the speeches and documents it is sickening!! aaaaah!
on a completely different note. my fam has one of those loud blowy things ppl use at soccer games, ya know the ones that make that buzz like sound at the world cup. yea. that was fun.
well well well. my homework is done, face is as clean as it is gonna get, teeth brushed, and so it is time to hit the hay. this morning i woke up snuggling with my alarm clock. i dont even know.
maybe next time i will write something worth reading.
living and loving life! :)
peace out.

Feb 10

there is a giant chicken walking around outside, i named her becky. i was excited to one day eat her until i saw her little chicks following along. i think maybe ill go for the rooster that never shuts the hell up.
actually, i kind of enjoy hearing the rooster in the morning...

oh, tonight was a beautiful sunset over the mountains! rad

im about to go to bed, veeeeery tired. i am really dirty and i think i smell. stomach still hates me. today was a bit rough. i think we are all getting tired. language is very, very challenging and it feels like i will never get the hang of it- then i remind myself it is still the first week of homestays.

tomorrow i think will be a better day, we have more uplifting sessions and the whole group (all 46 of us) will be getting together at some point. that will be nice because within our language groups and 'village clusters' i think ppl are going crazy. it seems like people are complaining more than necessary. i think we all just need a break.

stomach still hates me.

oh 5 AM will come too soon. goodnight world.

FEB 11

happy birthday hill-o-beans!! aaaaand happy 21st anniversary of getting out of jail to my man nelson mandela!

FEB 12

its flippin hot.

its officially been one week at our homestays! yippyyy!!!! i am enjoying my time here, its not all butterflies and rainbows, but i dont want to dwell on the negative so whenever i am frustrated pissed and stressed i just look outside. the mountains are beautiful and it is just in general a great feel. the sunsets are especially magical and the stars crisp. lovin life.

FEB 19

Roaches in the latrine had babies. Roach babies are just as gross as adult roaches.

We went on a 'field trip' to Pretoria today. It was the highlight of my year because we got pizza and beer- there was also running water and soap. amaaaazing. The reason for the fieldtrip was a visit to the peace corps office, some random orientation and to go to the Vortrekker museum/monument. That was interesting! The Vortrekkers are a bit controversial, and this museum (and tour guide) gave the white dutch version of history. He actually even said the Boers (whites/dutch) were 'indigenious' to South Africa and the brits came in and made them run. THIS I have some problems with.
1) Dutch are NOT indigenous to South Africa. They came over in the 1600's and 'discovered' it <kind of like how Columbus discovered America...> they killed a bunch of black people and tried making them slaves. THEN the Brits came and took over and the dutch whities had to make the 'Great Trek' and they were known as 'Vortrekkers.' of course killing more native south aficans along the way. Dutch then got power back and then apartheid. look it up.
2) i had about three more points but it was getting a bit political so i decided to delete it...


The segregation and Land Acts can be partially blamed for the poverty levels today. If people do not have education, water, or work, how can we expect people to get out of the trap?

ANYWAY, the fieldtrip was amazing. I did, however, realize what people were telling us before of how it is very difficult serving here for different reasons than other countries. I currently am in a house with no water on a street with no water. Many people have nothing. Nutrition is non existent and 1 in 5 people have HIV. We drove a couple hours and had a choice between plenty of restaurants with potable water and wonderful beer. People were driving fancy cars and had beautiful houses. Seeing the disparities is very frustrating.

Feb 24

1 in 5 people have HIV- some sub-popultations the rates are between 40-50%- and even more have or recently had TB. Thats a lot of people.

we are learning a lot about the culture of HIV here and it is giving me a better idea of what we are up against. the stigmas and false information is mind blowing. the teenage pregnancy rates are SO high and for very sad reasons. the lack of condoms simply because women have no say is scary. the fact that many people think men dont get HIV or that is it general is caused by witchcraft is insight to the type of barriers we will be facing. some other factors- patients get grants when CD4 counts are under 200ish (i think 200) so when time for there appointment comes around people often stop ARV's so their CD4 counts go down and they can continue getting assistance. this allows the body to build up resistance to the medicines and they will soon not be able to fight infection and HIV will become and AIDS and they will get sick and die much sooner than if they continued ARTs. BUT people need money so it the only option for some.
**(CD4s are good, lower CD4 = HIGH viral load, viral load means HIV in your blood)**
 **(Anti-retro-virals,, also called ARTs, call them whatever its what keeps HIV + patients healthy)
 **(CD4<200 is very bad, pretty much considered AIDS at that point. CD4 is what is attacked by HIV, most deaths occur when CD4 is lower than 50)**


WOW- its been a month since i have left my family!! it really does feel like it has been longer, i think because this month has been packed with learning, change, and emotion! Even though I feel like I have been in South Africa way longer than a month it is also going by quickly, it at first was NOT but now that the ball is rolling and i feel like i am learning a lot it is flying by.

I have a 'midterm' tomorrow. I have an oral language exam which is going to suck and midterm interview. the language test is going to suck because we have not had much time at all for language. My LCF (language and culture facilitator) is the bomb diggity, her name is macy and she rocks my world. However, she is not a miracle worker and PC only gives her a little time each day to teach us language. We'll see how the test goes, they can't expect much considering everything.

FEB26

HELLO! Today my host parents are getting married and it is a very big deal. They are already legally married, but they are doing something else, traditional type thing. I was supposed to go with them today but I started my period which means I am dirty and I cannot go to the church, apparently GOD doesnt like blood....WELL, stomach issues are back and have been puking and hanging out in the latrine. I puked mostly out of my window, there were also several buckets involved.

ANYWAY, i have been laying in bed and people randomly come in the see if I am alive. I feel horrible because I think some of the women think i am just lazy and dirty and dont want to help. I went out to take some pics of my mom before they left and i looked like hell, then crawled back to bed.

One thing to make me giggle during this sickness is that when you greet people you always say the same thing, and culturally you HAVE to greet and stick to script:
(not literal translations)
1: Avuxeni : (good morning)
2: Ahee (heeeey)
1: minjani? (how are you)
2: ndzi khona, n'wena minjani? (I am fine, how are you?)
1: ndzi khona. (i am fine)
SO. its pretty much, 'yes i am fine- BARF'

March 2

I am enjoying feeling the wind through my hairy legs.
Last night dinner was pap and chicken intestines. I tried to eat them but literally couldnt, good thing was- i didnt puke on the table.  A ndzi nga dyi intestines ra huku na vuswa. A Ndzi henthle. (i did not eat chicken intestines and pap, i puked)

March 4

Just got my site announcement.

my permasite is in a village that doesnt speak that language i have been learning.
need. more. chocolate.

 March 10--AT SITE ORIENTATION/VISIT

this is the longest game of charades that i have never wanted to play.
i am at my permanent site for a couple of days. we had a fancy shmancy 2 days at a fancy shmancy hotel in Tzaneen where we met our supervisors and did some sessions. it was a HORRIBLE first impression. We got there late so we had to rush to the session, i accidentally left the paper that said my orgs name in my bag in the hotel room and they decided to have up go up by language group introduce ourselves and announce our site and then the supervisor comes up and is all happy, you hug and are happy. WELL. let me tell you what happened to me. 
    **The Tsonga group was second to go (my group) and i stand up there and say "Avuxeni, vito ra mina Samantha. Ndzi a huma iAmerika IMichigan. Ndzi ta tirha....well, im not sure the orgs name but it is a OVC HCBC in Mapela" <insert cricket noise> **
this was a problem because
1. my sup does not speak Xitsonga, nor does the village
    >thats super
2. the org is not in mapela, its in danisane
    >way to look like an ass sami!
SO. after i looked like a FOOL for about 20 seconds standing there trying to guess and say the orgs details and what my paper said about where it is, they told me to sit down, then the APCD (assistant peace corps director) finally looked at her papers and said the correct info. thanks for the delay, ma'am.
So then my sup finally stands up, he is cool as shit but said "why do you speak tsonga, and why did you say mapela?" i happily blamed peace corps and promised i would get sepedi language material and find a tutor. he seems nice.

I was told later from my fellow PCTs just how funny i looked up there, hey, at least i make people laugh! I wish I could write it out better because it was rediculous!

SECOND IMPRESSION BLOWN
so i all of a sudden got real sick and landed myself in the hospital b/c my heart rate wouldnt go below 110, i was all red and couldnt breath. they took me to some shwank (using the term very loosely these days) africaaner clinic/hospital. two shots in my ass and blood test later they said it was an infection. no specifics and they didnt do an allergy test so i hope they are right. i am now on 4 meds and feel fine. BUT i missed the second morning of sessions and no one told my sup i was sick so he thought i quit. yup. when he finally asked they were like 'oh yea, shes in the hospital' yea, oops.
the staff speaks some english- the head ppl do so thats cool. they are all awesome, laugh a lot and seem like cool people. most are pretty young.
so let me talk about my 'home' yeaaaaa. i live with a very old man, mdela, which i think means old man in Sepedi, i wouldnt know since i am learning tsonga. its just us. he does not speak english.

he has 4 dogs, they cornered me last night on the way to the latrine, but this morning mdela yelled at them when they were barking at me so i think ill live. hope so b/c the day we were supposed to get our 3rd rabies shot they ran out, lol, i wish i was joking.

i am surrounded my beautiful mountains, i LOVE them!!! there is also a very low river that runs through. my supervisor, jonas (or 'sepeke' not sure what ill call him) took me all around the village and it was fun. we hopped on stones to get across the river while litte kids ran after me screaming "LAHOA" and asking me my name. when i screamed out Tinyeko they just burst out in laughter.

oh yea, they gave me another name. it means gifts. put a bow on me. im a gift.

oh. so today they had a meeting that i was not invited too, so i sat outside trying to talk to kids. they were afraid of me at first then i started making funny faces and trying to talk to them in tsonga, well, none of them speak tsonga but they loved my faces. they were repeating everything i did so i taught them 'head, shoulders, knees and toes' and played a version of simon says with them. they were real cool, then when i needed to go back in the office they didnt understand the game was over and continued to follow me around doing whatever i did. it was funny, but i need to learn sepedi reaaaaaal bad.
:)

March 14th

So I am back at my training homestay in tshamahansi. The site orientation went well overall, but it was rather interesting. Saturday morning i went to a funeral, its was really hot. as a woman i had to wear a shall type thing over my shoulders, long skirt, and a head wrap- it started at 630am and it was real hot. After that I went to a board meeting that started at 10am which means it really started at 11:15 am. it was all in sepedi, it was real fun....
OH. how could i forget to mention the fact i got locked in my room. so while inside my room the door handle broke and i couldnt get out. there are burglar bars on the window so no sneaking out of those (like i do at my training site) so it ended with me yelling to jonas to come rescue me. it was pretty hilarious. OH. and i woke up to a rockroach falling on my face. not so cool- but the shop worker noticed my window was left open one night and she warned me to shut it when the sun goes down because of the snakes. aaaaaah. thats what i get for not sleeping under my bed net. whoops.

only ten days until swearing in. super stoked. super sad to be leaving training though, we have a lot of fun! well, some of us do- others just complain in their own pessimistic misery.