WELL, America was wonderful. It was pretty much the same as when I left but my parent’s house was different, niece was talking (a lot) I had a nephew & many other babies in the fam, and a lot of political ads.
A lot of people were asking if it was weird, or if I was overwhelmed, or was I angry there is so much ‘stuff’- and really, no. Home will always be home. Do I think there is too much unnecessary stuff, DUH! of course, but I thought that before leaving. Some of my perspectives are a bit different but I did not have a break down in the grocery store when I saw several different kinds of lettuce or a whole isle of delicious cereals, I laughed a little and was super grateful. That probably sums most of it up, I laughed a lot and was super grateful. Oh, but America is really vein- is it really necessary to have mirrors all over-not cool! But with that vanity comes pretty people- the first thing I noticed along with all the English when I got to the ATL airport was how clean and put together everyone was…besides me. And I do not like automatic flush toilets, also not cool- the one in the airport really got me.
Although I felt like I relaxed a lot, I actually did a lot. Several sleep overs with G, bachelorette party, wedding, family party, Emmett’s first birthday, sleep over with Mal, exercise and coffee with Brit and shawn, night with Nat, not one but TWO nights with Hill, Fiesta Charras w the crazies, meeting SO MANY BABIES- it was great. I didn’t get to see everyone but I enjoyed the time I did spend with everyone. I learned babysitting two children is way more intense than one (sorry about the black eye E) and above all family time is the most important. Just walking around Kohls with my sister and mom, Meijer’s with my dad, pumpkin ale with my brother, watching Mugsy be a multi tasking bomb ass mom- hot tubbing, sleepovers and family dinners which led to doing nothing in the family room- that was the best.
The wedding, which I guess was the catalyst that got me home- was great. Maggie looked stunning and I think we all had a rock’n good time. I was glad I was in the bridal party so I didn’t have to think about what to wear- and can I get an AMEN that the dress fit?! Whoop whoop!!! I am very VERY happy for Matt and Mags, and am so happy to welcome Matt into this crazy group we call family. It was also relieving to feel like I could slip right back in the family even though I have missed a lot, so- thanks for welcoming me with open arms! J
I felt a bit overwhelmed whenever I tried explaining anything because there really is no explaining my life- especially without sounding angry or cynical. At times I was probably too honest, and other times I was probably straight up lying and perpetuating the romantic idea of what everyone likes to think of our lives, but hey- that’s the shorter conversation (‘oh yeaaa its great, I love it, people are so nice, I hug babies’). But the truth is somewhere in the middle of hating it and loving it, I guess I am not really even sure how I feel about everything.
I feel more motivated after visiting home. I am in the home stretch of being here and ready to rock n roll! It is natural to talk more about successes rather than failures, so through talking to people I was reminded of all of the things I have done. Yes it is true, my language sucks and I have watched a lot of movies- but I realized I have actually done some legit stuff. To me some of the successes really aren’t that big of a deal- so what I did my job- but maybe if I felt a little more, I guess, proud of myself, and cut myself some slack I would enjoy the little things more. I would have more energy, hope, and motivation to do more.
So. Here I go. Cutting some slack.
Bottom line. My family is amazing. I can’t express that enough, I am very very very lucky to have my family and friends in my life. So, thank you to everyone I saw and helped me not only raise money for camp GLOW but reminded me why I am doing what I am doing.
Ke a leboga.